Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Goldylocks & Fernando Scissor Hands

So once upon a time about 12 years ago I decided I wanted to try & have short hair. I stared long & hard into the mirror & satisfied my doubts that an A-line would look killer. So off I went to the salon & had it lopped off. Bam. I watched my long hair fall to the floor, sure it was just going to look amazing. 

And then the clouds covered the village & it rained for days. It was a disaster. You see....there's cutting hair & then there's cutting hair. Now you don't just italicize that word for any ol' person with a pair of scissors. This person who cut my hair off did not get the honor of having it italicized. She got some tears. 

The only way of doing it justice is to imagine a mushroom. Maybe just imagine the mushroom off Mario brothers because it's actually pretty close except make him a blonde. Had it been 1986 this lady might have won an award for this cut, but being it was like 2004....not so much. Poofy, triangular, icky, horrendous.....all these things. Anyways, traumatized that I was I vowed never again. 

So I went home pulled it back & let it grow. Then it grew some more. Then some more. Then I threw it out & over the windowsill & waited for a prince to climb up. Now all these years later, with long & wavy hair for days....that mushroom haircut seemed like a bad dream barely remembered. So as I was putting a white tee on one morning & as my hair got stuck in the shirt making it look short I found myself considering. That was that. Yes. I loved it. So naturally I took a couple selfies, because you just do when you have hair epiphanies like that...you want to make sure you can treasure it forever. And lucky for me I had a date with my friend & scissors artist Fernando from LUXE aka Fernando Scissor Hands (that just came to me but I think it's gonna stick).  


Anyways, with some hesitation I told him I was considering the scary lop-it-all-off-leap-of-faith & he convinced me to jump. After removing all sharp objects & hot things from our vicinity (in case I turn on him halfway through the cut), he began. As it fell to the floor I started having flashbacks & realized I'd stopped breathing sometime after the first or second cut. I gripped the chair & took a deep breath.  "You trust Fernando so you need to chill out", I shouted silently to my brain. I took a deep bite of jalapeno cheese bread Id bought at Vieras as a backup distraction...it worked. Lost in the creamy paradise of the bread I forgot I was having a panic attack seconds before. 

My chairs started twirling & I heard that Disney fairy godmother magic wand sound from somewhere & when the chair came to a halt on the third spin, it was magic. I told him wavy & parted to the left. He made it curly & parted it to the right & he blew my mind because sometimes you have to just shut up & be wrong.  A true artist is an expert & you went to them because you trust them, so let  go. Just when you think you know, you realize they actually know, you know? 


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